No “Battle Angel” Because of “Avatar?!!!!!!!!!!!”

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I hate James Cameron.

 

I’ve never had particularly strong feelings toward James Cameron before. “Titantic” was okay, “Alien” and all the sequels were AMAAAAAAAAZING (some more so than others, but I think it’s totally fair to shove them all under the “Amazing” heading). “The Abyss” was incredible, and ‘Terminator 2: Judgement Day” didn’t lack (even the Frankenstein-esque turnabout of the Terminator worked, which is a miracle in and of itself.)

 

“Avatar”–and tear me apart if you want–was a flat, unemotional take on a very old template. The graphics were mind-blowing, yes. But if “Speed Racer” and “Van Helsing” (I did like “Van Helsing” more than it deserved, by the way) taught me anything, it’s that graphics are a worthless tool if they are the main focus of a feature. Graphics and special effects are supportive. Like any supportive item, they need a foundation. It should go without saying that a story is the backbone of any film.

And “Avatar” lacked it. Poor “Avatar.” It has flawless skin, piercing eyes, straight white teeth, lustrous hair–and no spine. All that would-be beauty just kind of melds into a formless puddle. Oh so sad.

Now, I don’t hate James Cameron for “Avatar.” Everyone screws up. It was inexcusable on the part of the studio to advertise “Avatar” as the “greatest adventure of all time” or whatever it was. But then, 85% of the films out today have that tagline or something similar. So. “Avatar” wasted a 3 1/2 hour chunk of my life that I will never ever ever ever ever ever return. But so did “Speed Racer”. There’s nobody to blame but myself. I get that.

What I don’t get is why there is a sequel.

What is NOT my fault is that there will be TWO sequels.

Jeez Maria cross me twice, TWO.

TWO sequels for an emotionally bankrupt film about stereotypical noble savage aliens that have ferret faces and splotchy blue skin.

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What is unforgivable is that Cameron will be putting off an adaptation of “Battle Angel: Alita” for TWO sequels for an emotionally bankrupt film about stereotypical noble savage aliens that have ferret faces and splotchy blue skin.

I’m not going to go into the plot for “Battle Angel.” All you have to do is Google it. It sounds awesome. The manga surely was (is). Done correctly, it would be a fantabulous film. Blockbuster proportions epic sci-fi thriller. Millions of dollars in profit. With the right advertising, the revenue would be incredible.

Don’t get me wrong. I know “Avatar” will bring in the bucks. Ridiculous sequels for undeserving blockbusters always do. But COME ON. The absolute SOONEST “Battle Angel” would go into preproduction is 2016. (And it probably won’t even happen then.)

AND ALL BECAUSE OF “AVATAR”.

Jeez Maria cross me thrice, “Avatar” is directly interfering with the production of much better films. It’s tragic. And James Cameron doesn’t care. He prefers stereotypical noble savage aliens with ferret faces and blue splotchy skin.

Three times in a row, apparently.

THREE.

My only revenge are the paltry following acts: I will never own a copy of the film of, or soundtrack to, “Avatar” or any of its sequels. No costumes or clothing or toys or other merchandise. And I will NOT be wasting 6-7 more hours of my life watching the sequels. “Avatar”, we are done. If only you hadn’t been emotionall bankrupt. And full of blue ferret faces. And bad acting. And unimaginative writing. Then maybe we could’ve had something special.

Alas, it wasn’t meant to be.

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